Lost and Won
by Kalan van Lichtenstein
Summary: What sacrifices would you make for another? Phoenix comes to an epiphany in his second year of university thanks to a Shakespearian tragedy and a newspaper article about a certain childhood friend. Slight P/E and spoilers for 1:4.


**Note: **I was somewhat surprised that no one had really written anything about Phoenix back in college. So, here's a little something. I wanted to go for a more serious tone and some introspectiveness, but that kind of backfired on me. I'm still pretty happy with how it turned out, though. The title is taken from a reoccurring line in "Macbeth".

**Disclaimer:** Nope, I don't own anything. I'm only here for the food.

* * *

The curse of the Scottish Play was infamous in theatre circles. For years, stories had been passed down about mysterious deaths and unexplainable oddities that befell all those who preformed it. The Drama Department at Ivy University was no exception. It was common belief that before the play was scheduled to run in early May, at least one of the actors would mysteriously vanish, never to be heard of again. 

However, even with all the rumors of death and mayhem, Phoenix Wright was proud of winning the part of Macduff. It was almost unheard of for a sophomore to make it into the main Drama production, let alone manage to get one of the leads. Phoenix knew that he was going to go far as an actor. With the benefit of living in Los Angeles and a degree from one of the best faculties for Fine Arts in the state, this role in Macbeth was just the beginning of a long and prolific career.

It was the last play he would ever be in.

---

It happened about a month into rehearsal. The cast was taking a short break in between acts. Phoenix had been engaged in a lively debate with Lady Macbeth over whether or not the meal plan at the university actually had any nutritional value. The actor playing Malcolm was sitting next to them, reading a newspaper.

"Unbelievable." He said rather loudly.

Lady Macbeth looked over at him.

"That's what I thought too. I mean, who in their right mind would make a 'vegetarian delight' out of beef!"

Malcolm rolled his eyes. "I wasn't talking about your conversation. I was a little more focused on this article about the sorry state of Prosecutors."

She leaned over, taking the newspaper from him.

"Why would you want to read something so boring? I mean, there are plenty of more exciting things out there."

"Unlike you, I happen to care about what's going on in the world."

The two actors often fought with each other. Phoenix had long since learned to never get in the way of their arguments unless he wanted to lose all of his self-dignity.

"Who's that? He's kind of cute. Horrible fashion sense though… I mean…" Lady Macbeth surveyed a picture on the front page with intense scrutiny.

"You wouldn't find him so cute if you knew what this article was about," Malcolm said, glaring.

"Regardless of the article, a cute guy is a cute guy. Come on, Nick. You've got to tell me he's cute. Take a look."

Phoenix shook his head.

"I'd rather not get involved."

"Come on Nick! You have to be the tiebreaker vote here! You have to!"

She shoved the newspaper into his face, as if to prove her point.

_Why me?_

He was about to tell the two of them to resolve their problems like the adults they were supposed to be, but he was never able to; he was too busy staring at the article that had been given to him.

He was older. His hair was a little bit longer. He wasn't smiling. He was wearing what might have been considered the most ridiculous outfit of all time. But Phoenix recognized him immediately.

"Miles… Edgeworth?"

Malcolm eyed him suspiciously.

"You know him? According to this article, he's a real piece of work."

_What?_

He'd been too surprised at the picture of his old friend to see the headline that accompanied it.

"Dark Suspicions of a Demon Attorney," it read.

_Demon attorney? __Miles? What?_

It then went into vague detail about Miles Edgeworth, who was quickly forging a name for himself as one of the most ruthless prosecutors in the DA's office, after passing the bar at the abnormally young age of twenty.

Phoenix had never been so confused in his life.

"So Nick, do you think he's cute or not?"

Phoenix continued to stare blankly.

"Nick?" He wished she'd shut up.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say…"

Phoenix only half heard Lady Macbeth's gloating to Malcolm about how attractiveness triumphed over personality. He was far too focused on the article.

He tried to imagine Miles Edgeworth as the ruthless prosecutor described in the article, but for some reason it wasn't working. All Phoenix could see was a young boy, smiling ear to ear as he spoke hopefully about his future.

_"I'm going to become a famous defense attorney, just like my dad!"_

---

That night when he returned to his dorm room, he began looking for any information on Miles Edgeworth that he could find. Upon typing in the name 'Edgeworth', all Phoenix was met with were twenty-year-old cases. It didn't take him long to realize that all of those must have been cases that Miles' father had been involved in. As soon as he typed in the name 'Miles Edgeworth' about fifty articles popped up.

Phoenix read through every last one of them.

In only one month as an attorney, Miles had already prosecuted a dozen cases. As he read through each one of them, a disturbing trend started to emerge. Extortion. Forgeries. Questionable evidence. It seemed like he was willing to do just about anything in order to secure a guilty verdict.

This wasn't the same person he knew.

_Miles__… what__ on Earth__ happened to you?_

---

For the next two months, every day after rehearsal, Phoenix would write letters to Miles. He wrote about everything he could think of; from details about the play to reasons as to why he had become a prosecutor. Sometimes his letters were ten pages long, other times they were scarcely ten sentences. However, as much as the subjects and the length of the letters varied, he always ended them the same way.

_I want to see you again._

He never received a single reply.

---

"You have to mean it!"

They had been rehearsing this scene for nearly four hours now, and he director still showed no signs of relenting. To make matters worse, it seemed like Phoenix was the only one who wasn't doing what the director wanted, and the rest of the cast was getting more irate by the minute.

He tried again.

"Then yield thee coward, and live to the show and gaze-"

"Stop! Wright, may I have a word with you?"

He tried his best to ignore the glaring faces of his cast mates as the director practically dragged him out of the auditorium.

"What's gotten into you? You aren't focusing. You're just repeating lines. And, not very well either, if I might add." The director yelled as soon as they had made it outside.

Phoenix was sure that everyone in the auditorium could hear him.

"I'm sorry, sir. I guess… well… I guess I've just been thinking about other things."

"That's no excuse! For all you know, my wife could have died yesterday. But you don't know that, because what am I thinking about? Nothing but this play! And, that's all you should be thinking about too!"

"I… understand sir?"

"Now, if you don't do this, I get the feeling that there are quite a few angry actors that will be just dying to rip you to shreds."

"Yes sir…"

"You have to mean it! Macbeth murdered Macduff's whole family! Macduff is angry at him! Macbeth also usurped the old King of Scotland and everything he stood for in order to kill for no good reason! You have to become Macduff!"

Phoenix tried to keep a straight face.

"You may laugh now, but you won't be laughing when we're here for another five hours, because _you _didn't mean what you said."

Phoenix kept his mouth shut for the rest of the director's speech, as well as when they reentered the auditorium.

"All right you slackers! We're going to try this scene one last time. Again. From Macbeth's cue."

Phoenix got up on stage and tried to focus.

_Right, Phoenix. You can do this. You just have to mean it. You have to mean it…_

"And be these juggling fiends no more believed that palter with us in double sense!" Macbeth smirked, already completely into his character.

_It's now or never…_

If he was going to have to be angry, there was only one person who could do that. He pictured Miles the Demon Prosecutor in his head, standing across from him.

"Yield thee coward!"

The phantom Miles smirked. _"Is that the best you've got?_

"And live to be the show and gaze o' th' time!"

_"Really, how can you expect to beat me like that? I'm perfect, remember?"_

He lunged at him. "We'll have thee, as our rarer monsters are, painted upon a pole and underwrit…"

_"__Oh, please. You think you can just yell at me? You're a foolish idiot. You're beneath me. You're…"_

He punched through his illusion.

"Here may you see the tyrant!"

For a second, everyone was quiet. Macbeth was looking at him in what could only be described as pure terror. Then, inexplicably, every last one of the cast burst into applause.

Even the director looked impressed.

"That was some of the finest acting I've ever seen, Wright. I knew you had it in you."

Phoenix smiled at him.

"You were right, sir. You really do have to mean it."

---

"Law school?"

The Dean of Admissions eyed him questioningly.

"Is there something wrong with that?" he asked, frowning.

"It just doesn't make any sense. From what I gather, you've been extremely active in the Drama Department in your two years in this institution. Furthermore, you're involved in the main Production five days from now. Why the sudden change of heart?"

It had been a long time coming, really. Ever since he'd heard about Miles Edgeworth, the thought had crossed his mind more than once. However, it was only this week when for the first time one of his letters had been labeled 'return to sender' that he had decided to take action. Some might have thought that his decision was a little overdramatic, but then again, he was an actor.

"I feel like I need a change, that's all."

_Well… it's not quite a lie._

The Dean was going over his transcripts, making a few marks, and a circular motion every once and a while. For some reason, Phoenix doubted that things were going well for him.

"You have none of the prerequisite courses that would be required for law school applications." He finally said.

"I know."

"Fine Arts and Law are loosely connected at best."

"I know."

"And, your GPA is hardly what I'd call stellar."

Phoenix's heart sank.

"I know."

_Well, you couldn't blame a guy for trying, could you?_

He motioned to take his transcripts just as the Dean started speaking again.

"However, you still might stand a chance at getting into law if you are able to take the prerequisite courses you need in your next two years."

"…Really?"

"And, of course, you'll probably have to take a few spring courses as well. And, you probably will have to spend a good few hours after classes studying as well."

"Of course!" Finally, things were starting to look up.

"However, this means that you won't have time for any excess extracurricular activities."

"I understand that."

The Dean looked him square in the eye.

"That includes involvement in plays. Are you sure you want to do this, Mr. Wright?"

This was an important decision. Once he made his choice, there was no turning back. Well… maybe there was but that would take years upon years of school, and Phoenix wasn't quite prepared for that. Besides, it wasn't a question as what he wanted to do, so much as what he had to do.

"I've never been surer of anything in my life."

Sometimes sacrifices had to be made for the greater good.

---

When his parents came on opening night, he told them about his plans.

At first, they expressed doubt he was actually serious.

"So… let me get this straight. You're going to try to get into law school…" his father began.

"…Because of a friend that you haven't seen in ten years?" finished his mother.

"I guess that's about the gist of it, yeah."

"You're serious?" They both looked at him like he'd grown an extra head.

Phoenix nodded.

"Hey. There are crazier things I could do… right?"

Then they got a little bit angry.

"But, Nicky! You have your whole life ahead of you! Why on earth would you want to be tied down as a… lawyer?" Apparently, his mother didn't really like lawyers much, as she started crying right on the spot.

His father tried to take a more rational approach.

"It isn't to say we don't support you, it's just… unexpected. I suppose, maybe we should have suspected something… but…"

"…but now I'll never have any grandchildren!"

_What do grandch__ildren have to do with anything?_

"I'm… sorry?"

And finally, there was the inevitable acceptance.

"It's fine Nicky. We'll love you no matter what… choices you make." His mother looked like she was going to start crying again.

"I don't think that people really have choices when it comes to this, honey." His father said, patting her on the back.

_This has started to get only a little bit weird…_

"Either way, we'll still love you no matter what!" They both pulled him into a tight embrace.

_People don't normally react this way when their kids want to go to law school, do they?_

Somehow, Phoenix got the feeling that he was missing something.

---

The day of the second show, the director cornered him after notes.

"Wright, can I have a word with you?"

Phoenix knew exactly what this was about.

"I hear that you're planning on doing pre-law."

There was really no point on denying it.

"You heard right. I'm going to finish my major, and then go to Law School."

The director looked at him with… disdain? Anger? Disappointment? Phoenix wasn't quite sure if he could place that emotion.

"You're a good actor. You've got talent. Why would you go into such a…" He seemed to be searching for a word, "Different career?"

Phoenix wasn't sure why, but he felt the need to justify his choice to the other man.

"Being a lawyer is sort of like being an actor. I mean, you have to be comfortable talking in public, and in a way, you're performing for an audience. Except, a person's life is at stake… And… well…" he trailed off, trying to think of more reasons for his decision.

"You make a good point, I suppose…" The director said, frowning, "it was just I've never pinned you as a lawyer-type."

_I never really pinned myself as a lawyer-type __either. _Phoenix thought to himself. But, then again, he never had pinned Miles as a lying, cheating demon, either.

"Sometimes sir, people change."

---

The third night of the performance, Phoenix could have sworn he saw someone dressed in a distinctly magenta hue standing near back of the auditorium. But when he looked for them again before the start of the fifth act, there was no one there.

---

Phoenix told the cast about his plans right before they began their final show. To his shock, they didn't seem the least bit surprised. Lady Macbeth had made some sort of comment about how he had seemed miles away at rehearsals (and then chuckled to herself as though she'd made some sort of joke), while Malcolm expressed disdain that he'd sell out so easily. The rest of the cast wished him the best of luck, and agreed to make Phoenix's last show go out with a bang. In a metaphorical sense, of course.

As he stepped out onto the stage for the last time, he thought about various things. He thought about the play, and how he must have fallen victim to his curse. He thought about his parents. He thought about the director, full of doubt. He even thought about his bickering cast mates. But, most of all he thought about Miles. He was going to meet him again and when he did, he would save him. He would do whatever it took. Anyone who thought of this as an ending was wrong.

It was only the beginning.

* * *

Clearly, I had quite a bit of time on my hands lately. To be honest it was kind of nice. Anyways, reviews are loved and welcomed! 


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